Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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