i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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