Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
