So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize