I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
