I just pynch a tree in the face
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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