i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
as a side note pls kill me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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