You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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