In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All the doctor said was why
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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