Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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