so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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