If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
