My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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