1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You need Xanax blowdarts
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
