You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have post one night stand depression
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