What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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