she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize