weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
