From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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