My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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