I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
