i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
