Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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