How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
