White coat. Heels.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
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I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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