Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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