I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
