My brain says no but my pants say off.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
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i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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