He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
