Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
