She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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