So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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