Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
