The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
