Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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