sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
