Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
