Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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