dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
