Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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