Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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