Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
