so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
