Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have fence marks all over my body
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
