worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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