i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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