...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
