Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I AM VODKA MAN
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
