god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
