I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
