I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
