Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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