the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
