The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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