it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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