at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
