We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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