Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
