we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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