I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
