We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
