If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
