I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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