I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
