You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
