exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
