What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
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Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not