so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
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I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?