Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked