I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.